Dinner or drinks afterward is where you can really reap dividends, because that's where feelings are discussed. Here, the movie critique is entirely symbolic— talking about Jack (Gyllenhaal) and Ennis (Ledger) is a way of talking about yourselves (which adds a whole different subtext to Ebert & Roeper). Look and listen for cues to elicit favorable comparisons with your date—how the movie reflects well on her and, by comparison, the both of you together. If you'd been forced to see Pride & Prejudice, instead of volunteering for Brokeback, you might already have been drawn into an awkward comparison regarding Keira Knightley. Now you can simply agree that Gyllenhaal's butt is definitely bigger than the one sitting opposite you, and that he really could afford to pluck his eyebrows a bit more.

Then discuss how Ennis and Jack cemented their relationship without a lot of unnecessary chitchat. They weren't constantly wasting their cell phone minutes or sending frivolous BlackBerry messages all day long from the office. Maybe one phone call a year, or a postcard, tops. Does that mean they didn't love each other? Just the opposite. Fewer words make it count more. It's the cowboy way.

Now praise the performance quality, how emotions are communicated by a look or glance. Just because Ledger's laconic cowpoke doesn't know how to express his feelings doesn't mean he doesn't have them. And notice how patient, for the most part, Gyllenhaal is with his partner—not always goading him to talk, or to go for walks on the beach, or to use pet names like Mr. Scrunchybottom. Nope. They're content to let some issues lie, to let some things go unsaid.

that several different women fall for Ennis in the movie: He's a man's man and a woman's man, which pretty much turns out to be the same thing. And his stoic, constant values are the ones you want to echo in your relationship, perhaps along these lines: "We could get ourselves a little spread. You always said you wanted to live in the country. We don't need a big house or fancy car or expensive wedding. Hell, they couldn't marry, and it didn't change their feelins' none."

You don't have to come out and say, "Ennis Del Mar, c'est moi," but make the spiritual connection felt. Nothing says devotion like faithfully returning from a long cattle drive, or grueling software trade show, to the arms of your sweetheart. Just don't make a big fuss over it (nor with picking up the tab for the movie and dinner). That's what says, "I love you, but leave me to brood in manly silence." And, more importantly, "Don't cling."

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